Hold Them Tight

I can not tell you that I had dry eyes during this music video that I came across on another blog. I would be lying if I did. I needed this though. Another reminder to hold my kids more. To laugh and have fun with them more frequently. To take in their sweet uniqueness. To hug them tighter and shower them more often with my motherly love. To appreciate each moment I have with them. To really listen to them when they're talking. (sometimes it's easy to get caught up in multitasking!) To spend more one-on-one time with each. To enjoy the little things and not just the big events. Better yet, to recognize the little things. Because they all matter! To wrap up each memory we make and hold it tight. Each one of my children is such a special gift to me and I hope they can see and feel every day just how much they are loved and cherished! They are my joy! xo

Flying By

{On our drive to Wurzburg}

It dawned on me the other day how fast this past year has flown by so quickly; we're almost at our year mark living here in Germany and I'm becoming a little sad. Moving here, I cried when we left family and friends and the known as we went into the unknown. Slowly, day by day, things got better. I was very homesick but not because it's horrible here! It's quite the opposite actually! But it still isn't home so of course family and friends were (and are) missed. But as John and I were driving to Wurzburg on Sunday for Mother's Day, we were discussing how it has felt like we've only blinked and an almost year has flashed before us. How our 2 years left here is going to go by just as fast, especially while we try to cram in as much as we can see and do before we have to move back to the States. And I think talking about it all, made me sad! Just as I cried when moving here, I know without a doubt that I will cry when we move back home. Germany is a beautiful country; I'm enjoying taking it all in and seeing as much as I can. Knowing that this is a once in a lifetime experience makes it all the more reason to appreciate this opportunity! If I don't happen to see anymore than we already have, I won't be too heartbroken though; I have seen more than I ever thought or dreamed that I would!

{On our drive to Wurzburg}

In other news, I am just one busy mama around here with my four young-ins. I love being the mother to my little ones - they make me laugh, they make me cry, they make me want to pull my hair out, they make me happy. But most importantly, they make me proud to be their mother and I would never want it any other way! I'll take the good and the bad if only I can see their smiles, hold their hands, watch them peacefully sleep, hear them as they learn to read, see them enjoy the food I make them...the list goes on! It's all worth it to me.

Lately, we are busy....

*getting ready for our summer plans

*spring cleaning and organizing

*meal planning

*with a sometimes cranky and demanding baby

*running and walking 20-25 miles a week. Frankfurt 10K is in less than 3 weeks!!!!

*packing and planning for our trip this next week to Garmisch - relaxation HERE WE COME!

*reading lots and lots of books - everyone has one they are reading. John: The Crisis of Islam, Leslie: The Best of Me by Nicholas Sparks (my favorite author, however, not my favorite read!), Aubrey: Catching Fire (book #2 from Hunger Games series), Jocelyn: The Princess and the Frog, Andrew: Curious George, Landon: Blue Hat Green Hat - okay, so we're reading to the boys but didn't want to leave them out! :)

*catching up on laundry (it never ends!)

*craving to get the grill out and bbq!

*going to the playground just about any chance we get

*on the last days of the school year...we have a count down!! Aubrey: 19 days, Jocelyn: 14 days

*starting new chore lists - we'll see if this one will work better! one can only hope!

*at work! Well, for John that is! Lots of late night hours at the office

*enjoying a break in-between semesters (again, this is for John! But it's enjoyed by all that he's not wrapped up in studies at the moment!)

*catching up on blogging

*watching a little one toddle all around the house getting into everything! - and loving it

*wishing we could ditch our home in Virginia (yeah, we'll be wishing that one for a long time to come!)

*enjoying the sunshine and warmer weather

*dreaming about John + I's vacation to Greece! THIS is getting me through the difficult and long days. Even though I'm nervous leaving my two little boys for a week who are still attached to their mama (the girls I know will be okay)....I'm super ready for some time off!
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Be prepared to see a lot more older posts in the coming weeks. I'm trying to catch up on events I do not want to forget. Like our trip to Oregon last summer, family vacation to Virginia Beach, our time with friends before moving to Germany, our Christmas with my brother and his family. You know...a long time ago stuff! :)

Me, Myself & Running

Today I ran outside for the first time solo.

I was kind of paranoid on the trails alone with it being so scarce with people around and with a ton of trees and tall grass but I got in my 4 mile run nonetheless! And it was good not to be running it on the treadmill. I'm loving this spring weather! :)

This running is no joke either!

I like it though and thus, I continue through the pain...through the strange looks...through the internal thought of "I'm not sure I can go another 1/2 mile!" 

And it feels so good to be outdoors and surrounded by nature. 

I love it!

If nothing else, these past few months have proven to me that I can do anything I set my mind and body to doing no matter how hard the task. No matter the support I do or do not get. 

How I wish I had started doing this 10 years ago. I was very hesitant and scared at first. I hadn't been in shape since high school and I was afraid my body wouldn't be very forgiving. But it was, come to find out. It's been hard making this change but I'm very grateful I'm doing it today! It has helped me shed any and all baby weight I had left to lose as well as a few more pounds to help me towards my goal of getting fit and looking and feeling the way I've wanted. And I'm still working hard to get to my ultimate goal and stay there.

While I was pregnant or in between having each of my children, I exercised here and there. Not as active or consistent as I should have been but I didn't find it was as important as I do today. I didn't carve out the time and excuses were miles long! Now that I'm done having children, I find exercise extremely necessary! I find that I need it and crave it to be emotionally, physically and mentally healthy (and sane)! I should have thought this same way when I was still bearing children but I guess I didn't feel it's importance as I wasn't really thinking of my body being my own. I usually lost all my baby weight before having another one but with nursing or focusing on their care...I only thought of my body as helping my children.

I am not one to gloat or put myself on a pedestal. Walking and running 15-20 miles a week plus weight training has been anything but easy. Especially with my ankle still sore here and there while running. Being a mother of 4 children proves it's own challenges too. It's not easy to find my own time to work on my health. But I have to find that time and schedule it in or it just doesn't happen and everyone pays the price. :) Mornings before they wake are usually best! Without my husband's support too, I wouldn't be able to go on my walks in the evenings 4 nights a week.

I brought my phone with me when I was alone on my run today - in case I needed it in an emergency.

So I took a few photos so you could see the pretty trails I get to run on!  

Just shy of 6 weeks until I run the Frankfurt 10K.
Getting nervous and excited!

Four miles down (at a 9:30 pace)!

Two more to go!

Bass Pro Shops

As previously stated in the spring break post, everyone was sick. With today being the kids last day of break and sickness finally on the mend, I thought it would be fun to get the kids out and enjoy the sunshine. What I didn't factor in was my sanity! As a mother to now four children I felt it would be best to just throw myself back into the ring and get it over with. This would be a test of faith and a whole lot different than just a trip to the grocery store. Which isn't always a success. If I could clearly do this with three, what's one more, right? HA!! The joke was on me when I drove them an hour from home on a 100 degree spring day to Bass Pro Shops for some lunch. The drive wasn't hard - especially with the newly loved built-in DVD players. The "way-over-my-head" moment was when we were all seated at the table built for a king ("PLEASE PASS THE SALT!!"); Landon was fed and is normally not a fussy baby in any sense - except for during this particular lunch. Of course, right? And to make matters worse, I then realized I had completely forgotten his pacifier at home! :( Things were starting to get a little overwhelming. I'm convinced breathing techniques aren't just for labor and delivery!!

So with the kids seated miles down the table away from me, Jocelyn started to whine that her burger sliders were gross (she didn't like the toasty bun) and Andrew was picking at his food saying he didn't feel good and kept trying to stand up on his chair so I could pick him up and hold him. All this along with the fact that they were all eating and I was holding and rocking Landon wishing I could eat the food that was sitting in front of me - as well as wishing that the annoying comments from the waitress would stop..."oh he's fussy!!" I had a brief thought at this boiling point: why did I bring them all the way down here instead of just driving up the road from home to Chick-fil-a? One of the main reasons I took them there was because of the massively huge fish tank that they get so excited about. But I suppose I also did it to prove to myself that after one and a half months, I was finally ready to take all my kids out by myself. And yay me! I made it in one piece!

Poor Andrew though! He was clearly not feeling well and getting more gloom by the minute. After I let them roam around and look at the fish, we got back on the road and sat in almost 2 hours of traffic to travel 45 miles back home to take big sis to soccer practice. Come to find out once we stepped foot in the door, he was burning up with a 104.5 temperature!! John was almost home so we decided to meet up the road at the ER and we found out he had come down with an ear infection! :(

What did this trip prove to me? That no matter what is thrown at me...I can do it!!! Four kids and all! :)

We are all so glad school starts up again tomorrow! At least I am! :)

New Life

I always forget what it feels like after having a baby. The feelings. The changes. The adjustments. But so much love for this new little one that I never imagined I'd have until the moment I met him. After having three children though, I knew that there was more than enough love to go around. Aside from the obvious excitement and happiness a new baby brings, there comes other emotions. Definitely a roller coaster of them due to the wonderful post baby hormones, a new found love for another sweet child I am so blessed to have and raise, sleep deprivation from around the clock waking to feed, maternity clothes that are finally too big but the pre-pregnacy clothes, well, let's just say I'm not going to try and see if they fit yet, the disconnect I feel from my other children as I rest and let their daddy take over a majority of the household tasks - to name just a few. I'm missing all of the time I used to have to play with them and seeing how hard this change has been on them has been hard on me as well (and seeing how much bigger they look and feel after only being away for a few days in the hospital!). All of these things have thrown me through a loop all the while getting to know this little boy of mine.

My "once was" routine with the kids and my daily schedule has been tossed around and thrown upside down like a tornado and I'm slowly trying to get back into the swing of things so I can eventually establish a new routine that fits for my four children. Right now, my days are mixed with sleeping when I can squeeze in a few more minutes, feeding and changing a newborn, crying at the drop of a hat, feeling lost in my motherly role and frustrated with the fact that there have been SO many changes in the past few months that nothing feels "normal" anymore. Andrew's gone from pacifier to no pacifier, sleeping in a crib in our room to a big boy bed in his own room, Jocelyn and Aubrey now sharing a room, driving a new van instead of the truck I drove everyday for the past 4 years, John deployed for six months and me having a routine with the kids while he was away to him being home a few weeks before baby's due date (a GOOD thing but still a huge change!) and basically switching roles with me while I have Landon so he can take care of the kids and then readjusting to us all being back together again. It's sometimes more than I can handle. It even seems too overwhelming for me to even start thinking of how my days are going to go once John returns back to work. Obviously one minute and one day at a time. I'm sure in a few months, I'll have things down like I did after the other children were born. Luckily, Landon is such a good and laid back little guy. He sleeps much of the time, is happy and content and curiously looking around when he's alert and hardly ever cries. The kids have been really enjoying having their baby brother here. It's very cute to see how much they love him already.

Aside from all of the challenges and stress I've been faced with, life after a baby is rewarding, fun and enjoyable. Nothing worth it is EVER easy so I expect to have bad days and hard times mixed in with the good days and fun times. I try to keep that in mind when the going gets tough! I really love being a mom and count myself blessed - and remembering that will help me get through this! I have the best husband ever that supports and stands by me and picks up the pieces when I am not able to put them together. I also have amazing friends and family to pull me through. Each day has been a little easier than the previous one and I know that I will get through this change in my life. It might be with baby steps...but I will get there!! In the meantime, I'm just going to snuggle and enjoy my little baby boy and three older children and hope that my new normal will come soon!

Tired!

I have to say, I have many intentions on keeping things current on my blog. It is something I truly enjoy doing and preserving our family's memories is very important to me. But let's face it, it's not always going to be ideal (or easy in any sense of the word!) to stay up to speed with 3 young and active children! With me now 15 weeks pregnant and taking care of my very busy monkeys, well, I'm literally wiped out with no extra energy left to do what I want when the day is said and done and my children lay their heads on their pillow.

I love my kids very much and I love being a mom so I don't say that lightly that I don't have time for me. I wouldn't trade my job for the world. Being a mom is the best and most important job ever! I am honored and blessed to be the mother that I am to the children that I have. And I'm sure not having much time for me is just a normal case of being a mother. Although, getting lost in the shuffle isn't what I had in mind. I need to carve out time for me so I don't forget who I am. Even walking at the gym for 30 minutes would be idle. Or taking up cooking again. Or that photography class I've been eyeing for awhile. I want to make it clear that I wouldn't trade any of my motherly responsibilities for anything! It's who I am and I love it! After having my third child, I have started to feel like I have lost my identity somehow. Other than being a mother, daughter, sister, friend...I don't really know me anymore! What are my hobbies? "I don't have any" is my usual answer. Regardless...if I'm not happy and healthy, I'm not doing the kids a favor one bit! I believe it's now time for me to reset some priorities and jot down some goals.

{15 weeks to the day!}

Until I can get this blog of mine back up-to-date though...here's a snippet of what we've been up to:

1. Aubrey's running for Student Body Secretary at her school.
2. Jocelyn turned FOUR years old two days ago (the 14th)! She too is growing like a weed! But a cute one.
3. Andrew is one busy 20 month old! In fact (and unfortunately), rolling down the stairs has been his current past time. Such as today. A HUGE green goose egg on the side of his forehead. Poor guy! Not only is he giving me those scares but he's climbing on the back of the couches & tables & recliners & desks...well, you get the idea! He about gives me a heart attack every time he pulls these crazy stunts of his. He also loves to turn on and off lights (over & over & over again)! He's everywhere! It's fun to watch him active and busy though. He's such a sweet little boy too. I now know through personal experience this past year of his life that he runs the show a whole lot different than the girls ever did. Wow. It exhausts me just thinking about it!
4. Aubrey is in the midst of fall soccer. She's doing really well! And piano practice too. She alone keeps herself (and I) busy!
5. Jocelyn started preschool on Monday. She's nervous but when I pick her back up, she's ALL smiles!
6. Besides being 15 weeks pregnant and being tired from the daily routine, I'm feeling great! No sickness thankfully. This pregnancy feels a lot like when I was pregnant with Andrew. I have no desire to do much cooking. I have been plagued with this problem since finding out I was pregnant. I don't know if it's the said lack of energy or not wanting to be around a ton of smells. So usually dinner is quick and easy. I really need to dig out my crock pot again and also start double batching meals again so I don't have to cook every.single.night! Leftovers=awesome!
7. John's very very busy working. He also graduated on the 11th with his Bachelors Degree! So proud of my husband!

I'm far behind in blogging and posting pictures but I'm stubborn and WILL get it done. Look into seeing a post from me at least daily for a while. :) Until then...

Good night!

Happy Mother's Day

This Mother's Day was packed full to the rim with fun and good times with family and friends. I really couldn't have asked for a better weekend! I am so thankful to have my wonderful children and to be blessed to be their Mother! And I'm so thankful for my own Mothers in my life: my Mom, step Mom, Mother-in-laws, and friends. I owe so much to them for their love, great example and support! Thank you!! xoxo

{My kids and I on Mother's Day - after church}

We started celebrating Mother's Day early - Saturday night - with the kids telling me to close my eyes and handing me my gift. I told them earlier that I didn't want anything for Mother's Day but they obviously felt differently. John and the kids felt that I would enjoy a point and shoot camera so I can take it with me whenever I'm out and about so I don't always have to carry around our Nikon SLR camera (the thing is pretty bulky but I LOVE the quality of pictures it takes so I'm not complaining!) I was very surprised and happy!

We then headed off to have a bbq at some close friends of ours. The dinner was fantastic: steak, chicken & veggie shish kabobs, baked beans, potato salad, fruit salad, grilled zucchini and cake & banana pudding for dessert. While dinner was being grilled with all the guys huddled around, us girls sat around talking (or taking pictures and checking on kids). The kids were, without question, having a blast together in various places of the yard or house. Once we ate dinner and cleaned up, we sat out in their front yard for a bon fire to stay somewhat warm while chatting up the night, roasting marshmallows and making smores. It was pretty windy out with strong gusts so everytime the wind blew, the fire would spit at anyone in the direction it was blowing and force people to get up and back away. We had so much fun and our families are planning on a camping trip this summer!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

{Mmmm...smores!!!}

Sunday morning, I woke up finding out my hubby let me sleep in a bit while cooking the family breakfast. Jocelyn gave me a great big hug at the table saying "Happy Mother's Day Mama!" :) And then she proceeded to tell Aubrey "Happy Mother's Day" and just as we were about to explain to her through some chuckles that Aubrey isn't a mommy, she went on to tell John "Happy Mother's Day!" I think she GETS what Mother's Day is, but to a small degree...obviously! :) It was cute!

For breakfast, we ate: french toast, (some of us had bananas and peanut butter on them), bacon and orange juice. Delicious! I felt spoiled.

We then rushed and got ready for church - arriving a bit later than I would have liked, but still got there nontheless! The talks were awesome and it was nice having John there to help take care of Andrew - something I'm usually doing solo while we sit on the pew for an hour. Let's just say he gets a bit restless! For his age though, I don't expect anything different - and I'm sure it's going to get worse before it gets better. It really was a treat to have John by my side! "Thanks honey for helping to make my Mother's Day special!"

{My sweet family! It was very windy so this photo is the best out of the few taken!}

{My girls!}

{And my boys!}

{Flowers from my best friend (aka husband!)}

{Cards & gifts from Mother's Day}

Despite it being Mother's Day, I was still looking forward to the kids going down for their naps/quiet time! We all know kids aren't on good behavior ALL day...especially on a special day. :) I love them dearly but they're easier to be around after getting a much needed rest!

During their quiet time, John and I made dinner. We made plans to spend the evening with some other close friends of ours for dinner. We made some Cafe Rio dishes: Costa Vida chicken, lime cilantro rice and dressing, and tortillas to make burritos. We also had some left over baked beans from the previous night and chips and dip. Cheesecake was for dessert!

To fill the void of not having family nearby, especially when celebrating these special occasions, it's sure nice to have good friends around! With that said though, I do miss our families...and they can never be replaced!

*HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE WOMEN IN MY LIFE!
YOU ARE SPECIAL!*