Getting There

Confession: I used to not feel comfortable in my own skin. I didn't like how clothes fit me, how I looked in them and being in pictures. And I believe I have felt this way since Aubrey was a few years old - pretty much for the past 10 years!! I was working full time, taking college courses at night, super stressed out trying to make ends meet and eating out pretty much every day and not incorporating much physical activity to the mix. I know life was busy then and I made excuses that I was TOO busy to take care of myself. Life IS busy now too! Even more so with three added children! I have found since starting up regular exercise in January, that I'm watching what I'm eating and making better choices (it helps that we basically don't eat fast food anymore!), drinking more water, craving to get outside any chance I get, getting the kids out so they too can exercise, not snacking after dinner, eating smaller more frequent meals, watching portion control, sleeping better and longer. I'm still not close to being perfect at it though. It has been anything but easy. (Especially after hurting my right ankle and was out of running commission for a good few weeks.) I have to schedule in my workouts or they don't get done. And I find myself more often than not, wanting to exercise!! At first, this was a bit shocking to me. But I love it now! I'm even finding that I want to do things I never did before. Riding bikes, swimming, playing tennis, RUNNING!!! All because I'm more comfortable with how I feel and my increase in energy.

{John + I: Christmas 2005}

Over the last 5 months, I have slowly built more self-confidence and feel better in my own skin. Sure, I'm not all the way where I want to be, but I'm celebrating how far I've gotten up to this point. It hasn't been easy! In the beginning, I was getting up at 5am to workout. With a baby and kids getting sick off and on...I changed my workouts to mid-day while Landon was napping or in the evening after the kids went to bed. Sometimes you've got to switch things around to make it work. Even then, some days are better than others - just like life in general. If I have a day I can't get leave the house and exercise (like if John is out of town or not able to be home), I do a workout DVD or exercises from "Skinny Ms. Fitness" online. And I should also mention that on the days I'm sick (which have been few since the beginning of the year) or I'm feeling off, I listen to my body and lay low for a day or two.

A few months ago, my friend and I even started walking 4 days a week after our husbands got home from work - which added up to 10 miles of walking per week. She's moving soon so I'm now walking alone and sometimes even pushing the boys in the double stroller to get it done! And running on top of that is another 10-15 miles. A total of 20-25 miles a week of walking and running as well as weight training and eating more healthy has gotten me to where I am currently and I'm still going strong! I have more energy to get things done throughout the day and I'm able to do more things with my children. It's beyond exciting!! I love it! :)

{Aubrey + I: Preschool graduation June 2005}

Back in 2005, I had my yearly health physical. The blood tests came back unusually high in the cholesterol department. I had then learned that it runs in the family. Before 2005, it was in the normal range. Now, we're talking the numbers were at 310 total cholesterol. Super high! They encouraged me to get on medication pronto! But I was hesitant. John and I were trying to get pregnant and I had done enough research on statin drugs to know that I didn't want to be on them during the child-bearing years. In other words, I was also being stubborn. And I have resisted taking them ever since. I had another test performed about 6 months after Andrew was born. Still high. And the fill in doctor (not my normal physician) tried scarring me into getting on them. Saying if I didn't take the medication, I'd be leaving my children at a young age without a mother. I felt that was totally wrong of them to try and scare me into it and being quite harsh about it. I also realized that it's easier (and necessary) for people to take these drugs instead of changing their lifestyle. Even changing your lifestyle won't guarantee lowering the numbers so I tried eating better. On again off again exercise. Fish oil capsules (which I still take). Still the numbers didn't get better. Then, last month at my yearly physical, I had my blood drawn to check my cholesterol again. They called me the next day and left a message. I thought for sure that meant they were too high and a push for drugs was coming my way again. I was nervous to find out! I called them back and they said the numbers were a bit high. The total cholesterol count came to 209. They're supposed to be under 200. WOOHOO!!! I got SO excited! I know still a tiny bit high but I've knocked down 100 points since eating better and exercising for the past 5 months! I probably shouldn't mention this, but I was so excited, I celebrated by eating some m&m's. Haha Hey....it HAD peanut butter in it! :) Even with knowing the numbers improved, I know that this is going to be something I'm going to have to work hard at maintaining and controlling for the rest of my life. I know not everyone is made up the same either but I strongly feel that if I can do it, anyone can!

BEFORE: I just had Landon 4 months before moving to Germany weighing in at 121 lbs. So I was still losing baby weight from my pregnancy when we got here. I know I wasn't huge but I felt bigger than I wanted to be. Pre-pregnancy weight since Jocelyn has been somewhere around 115 lbs. But for the first time in a LONG time, I wanted to get physically in shape for me! No one else could motivate me enough to do so. One day, the light switch came on and it's been on since! When we moved here, I was wearing size 8 pants. At the time I started exercising, I was wearing a size 6 and pre-pregnancy clothes were still a bit tight.

AFTER: Five months after moving to Germany, in January 2012...I started to exercise 5 times a week. The first few months were extremely hard and I gave myself monthly goals and rewards to look forward to and to keep me moving. I only allowed myself to do weekly weigh-ins on each Saturday. I honestly focused more on how I felt than the actual numbers on the scale. By March, I was seeing results. By April, others were noticing. I feel so much happier and better about myself! I am now down to 107 lbs! That's a total of almost 15 lbs! I'm now wearing a size 4. I again don't care too much about the number and more so on how I feel. But I will say that I was pretty shocked when I ordered some shorts for the summer in size 4 and they were TOO BIG! I had to exchange them for a size 2. Never thought this was possible. As I mentioned, I haven't been this size and physically fit in a decade! Of course I had a lot of attempts from then until now but nothing consistent. I didn't have any confidence that my body would change. I didn't have any experience seeing that it would! So by blind faith, I kept working hard at it and little by little, the changes happened! I owe much of my success so far to my husband who started supporting me years and years ago and never gave up giving me encouragement and for the here and now; all the countless 30-60 minutes that I needed to get a workout in. I also have the Couch to 5K program to thank and I highly recommend it to anyone looking into starting to run. But I also give credit to my success to all those that have supported me - my parents, siblings, friends and extended family! Thank you!!! :) And for all those that want to make health changes in their own lives, know that I believe in you! Sometimes all you can do is take it one day at a time and giving it your all! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

I'm excited to see where the next 5 months takes me! In just a few days from now, I'll be running my first 10K run ever! Who would have thought?? I certainly never did!

Flying By

{On our drive to Wurzburg}

It dawned on me the other day how fast this past year has flown by so quickly; we're almost at our year mark living here in Germany and I'm becoming a little sad. Moving here, I cried when we left family and friends and the known as we went into the unknown. Slowly, day by day, things got better. I was very homesick but not because it's horrible here! It's quite the opposite actually! But it still isn't home so of course family and friends were (and are) missed. But as John and I were driving to Wurzburg on Sunday for Mother's Day, we were discussing how it has felt like we've only blinked and an almost year has flashed before us. How our 2 years left here is going to go by just as fast, especially while we try to cram in as much as we can see and do before we have to move back to the States. And I think talking about it all, made me sad! Just as I cried when moving here, I know without a doubt that I will cry when we move back home. Germany is a beautiful country; I'm enjoying taking it all in and seeing as much as I can. Knowing that this is a once in a lifetime experience makes it all the more reason to appreciate this opportunity! If I don't happen to see anymore than we already have, I won't be too heartbroken though; I have seen more than I ever thought or dreamed that I would!

{On our drive to Wurzburg}

In other news, I am just one busy mama around here with my four young-ins. I love being the mother to my little ones - they make me laugh, they make me cry, they make me want to pull my hair out, they make me happy. But most importantly, they make me proud to be their mother and I would never want it any other way! I'll take the good and the bad if only I can see their smiles, hold their hands, watch them peacefully sleep, hear them as they learn to read, see them enjoy the food I make them...the list goes on! It's all worth it to me.

Lately, we are busy....

*getting ready for our summer plans

*spring cleaning and organizing

*meal planning

*with a sometimes cranky and demanding baby

*running and walking 20-25 miles a week. Frankfurt 10K is in less than 3 weeks!!!!

*packing and planning for our trip this next week to Garmisch - relaxation HERE WE COME!

*reading lots and lots of books - everyone has one they are reading. John: The Crisis of Islam, Leslie: The Best of Me by Nicholas Sparks (my favorite author, however, not my favorite read!), Aubrey: Catching Fire (book #2 from Hunger Games series), Jocelyn: The Princess and the Frog, Andrew: Curious George, Landon: Blue Hat Green Hat - okay, so we're reading to the boys but didn't want to leave them out! :)

*catching up on laundry (it never ends!)

*craving to get the grill out and bbq!

*going to the playground just about any chance we get

*on the last days of the school year...we have a count down!! Aubrey: 19 days, Jocelyn: 14 days

*starting new chore lists - we'll see if this one will work better! one can only hope!

*at work! Well, for John that is! Lots of late night hours at the office

*enjoying a break in-between semesters (again, this is for John! But it's enjoyed by all that he's not wrapped up in studies at the moment!)

*catching up on blogging

*watching a little one toddle all around the house getting into everything! - and loving it

*wishing we could ditch our home in Virginia (yeah, we'll be wishing that one for a long time to come!)

*enjoying the sunshine and warmer weather

*dreaming about John + I's vacation to Greece! THIS is getting me through the difficult and long days. Even though I'm nervous leaving my two little boys for a week who are still attached to their mama (the girls I know will be okay)....I'm super ready for some time off!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Be prepared to see a lot more older posts in the coming weeks. I'm trying to catch up on events I do not want to forget. Like our trip to Oregon last summer, family vacation to Virginia Beach, our time with friends before moving to Germany, our Christmas with my brother and his family. You know...a long time ago stuff! :)

Exciting Things Ahead...

We have some very exciting trips and events coming up! We have soooo much to see too! Another two years here doesn't seem very long and I have a hunch that it's going to fly by faster than we'd like or expect it to so we are having fun squeezing in as much as we humanly can - with an appropriate amount of down time throughout of course. I am beyond ready for summer break to be here so we can have some fun! :) And in some ways, I feel that this summer is jammed packed with so much excitement, that summer seems over before it has even begun! It'll be fun though and I'm pretty certain we'll be plenty busy making a lot of fun memories!

{Andrew - Spring 2012}

In May, John and the other guys from his region are going to be away for a few days exploring Belleau Wood in France. He'll enjoy it, I'm sure! Someday, I look forward to us taking the kids to see this before we move. Such a neat memorial of fallen Marines. I'll be playing single mother for these few days, but nothing I haven't ever had to do before. I'm glad he has this opportunity to go. We'll be busy filling our time with a movie nights and games on the Wii and trips to the park. Maybe even some bike rides around the neighborhood.

Later this month, we'll be attending a week long trip with John and his region to Garmisch. If you go to THIS website for Edelweiss, you'll see a video at the bottom that shows the lodge and area. While he attends meetings during the day, I'll be entertaining the kids at the pool, exploring the area and local town and hiking around the Alps. We love nature so I have a feeling this is going to be fun! I'll probably hear a lot of complaining about a lot of walking around but I can deal with that! :) We went here for a few days back in October for our Anniversary so I'm super thrilled to be going back to spend some time outdoors with the wonderful spring weather! We have family events to look forward to in the evenings. We also extended our stay through the weekend after John is done with his meetings. We haven't mapped out what we're going to do yet but I think we are going to try to see some local things like the Salt Mines and Hitler's Eagle's Nest in Salzburg.

In June, the 3rd to be exact, John and I are running in the Frankfurt 10K. I'm pretty excited and nervous. Just a few more weeks of training! :)

After the kids get out of school, we are going down to Slovenia for about a week to visit with some friends of ours we met a few months ago. John met him from work and his family came and stayed with us one night while in route back to the States. They have three very cute kids. It's going to be a blast and I can not wait!! (I also get a new running buddy for a week and some girl time! :))

In July, Aubrey will be going to Young Women (church) camp for 4 days. We don't know the details yet, but she's very much looking forwarded to her first year at camp! Most of the girls from our Stake are German speaking but most also know English so I'm sure Aubrey will have a great time. I KNOW she will!! And if it gives her the chance to learn some German, even better!

One of my best friends, Sabine, that I met while living in Virginia, is from Germany and is flying out here to visit her family. LUCKY US!!!! :) I can't wait to see her again! It will mark one year since I last saw her! How much I miss my Virginina friends and wish to see them all again! Hopefully one day! (It goes without saying, I miss my Oregon friends and family too!)

It's not yet confirmed, but another one of my best friends, Ally, might be coming out here with her husband to visit. I haven't seen her since Aubrey was ONE and since the time we were all living in Pensacola, Florida. Whenever they make it out this way, it will be a great and long overdue reunion!! :)

Ah! August! A month I've been waiting impatiently for! :) We are flying out our family friend, Megan (who happens to also be the daughter of another one of my best friends) to come stay with the kids while John and I finally have the chance to go on our own vacation...alone...to GREECE!!!!! A WHOLE WEEK! It's a dream come true and still seems so unreal to me. It probably won't feel real until we get there! As I've mentioned before, it's part of my reward to keeping my 6 month long commitment to exercise. But it's also because John and I never went on a honeymoon or have even gone on a trip alone together, for that matter. Can you believe that!?!? Quite frankly, we desperately need the break! With me home taking care of our children and in between John's full-to-the-brim job all the while taking his Masters...the vacation is not only long overdue but highly welcomed for the both of us! Megan will also be staying for another week so we can all spend some time together and show her around Germany and whatever else our hearts and time desires to go see! We are really looking forward to having her here and are so grateful for her! She's one of the few people we trust watching our precious little ones!

August also welcomes the beginning of another school year. One which Aubrey AND Jocelyn will be enjoying. It probably won't take long going into June before we, as parents, are anticipating this moment. But maybe not! I have a feeling that NONE of us are going to be bored this summer! :)