New Life

I always forget what it feels like after having a baby. The feelings. The changes. The adjustments. But so much love for this new little one that I never imagined I'd have until the moment I met him. After having three children though, I knew that there was more than enough love to go around. Aside from the obvious excitement and happiness a new baby brings, there comes other emotions. Definitely a roller coaster of them due to the wonderful post baby hormones, a new found love for another sweet child I am so blessed to have and raise, sleep deprivation from around the clock waking to feed, maternity clothes that are finally too big but the pre-pregnacy clothes, well, let's just say I'm not going to try and see if they fit yet, the disconnect I feel from my other children as I rest and let their daddy take over a majority of the household tasks - to name just a few. I'm missing all of the time I used to have to play with them and seeing how hard this change has been on them has been hard on me as well (and seeing how much bigger they look and feel after only being away for a few days in the hospital!). All of these things have thrown me through a loop all the while getting to know this little boy of mine.

My "once was" routine with the kids and my daily schedule has been tossed around and thrown upside down like a tornado and I'm slowly trying to get back into the swing of things so I can eventually establish a new routine that fits for my four children. Right now, my days are mixed with sleeping when I can squeeze in a few more minutes, feeding and changing a newborn, crying at the drop of a hat, feeling lost in my motherly role and frustrated with the fact that there have been SO many changes in the past few months that nothing feels "normal" anymore. Andrew's gone from pacifier to no pacifier, sleeping in a crib in our room to a big boy bed in his own room, Jocelyn and Aubrey now sharing a room, driving a new van instead of the truck I drove everyday for the past 4 years, John deployed for six months and me having a routine with the kids while he was away to him being home a few weeks before baby's due date (a GOOD thing but still a huge change!) and basically switching roles with me while I have Landon so he can take care of the kids and then readjusting to us all being back together again. It's sometimes more than I can handle. It even seems too overwhelming for me to even start thinking of how my days are going to go once John returns back to work. Obviously one minute and one day at a time. I'm sure in a few months, I'll have things down like I did after the other children were born. Luckily, Landon is such a good and laid back little guy. He sleeps much of the time, is happy and content and curiously looking around when he's alert and hardly ever cries. The kids have been really enjoying having their baby brother here. It's very cute to see how much they love him already.

Aside from all of the challenges and stress I've been faced with, life after a baby is rewarding, fun and enjoyable. Nothing worth it is EVER easy so I expect to have bad days and hard times mixed in with the good days and fun times. I try to keep that in mind when the going gets tough! I really love being a mom and count myself blessed - and remembering that will help me get through this! I have the best husband ever that supports and stands by me and picks up the pieces when I am not able to put them together. I also have amazing friends and family to pull me through. Each day has been a little easier than the previous one and I know that I will get through this change in my life. It might be with baby steps...but I will get there!! In the meantime, I'm just going to snuggle and enjoy my little baby boy and three older children and hope that my new normal will come soon!

Happy Birthday Landon!

Landon Isaac Shields was born at 6:37pm - healthy with a full head of brown hair and bluish gray eyes. He's very cute and we feel so blessed! He weighs 8 lbs 8 oz and measures 21 1/2 inches long. Tomorrow he gets to meet his big brother and sisters! :)

Birth story will follow when we're both home and getting more rest. Both Mom and baby are doing well.

We Have Grown

Our vehicle that has comfortably held our three children for the past few years without a doubt would not comfortably hold four. So after months of planning and searching, we found ourselves a minivan! :)

John's work has a Town and Country so it was between that model or a Honda Odyssey. I test drove the Town and Country and after talking, we felt it was the right vehicle for our family.

The kids were sold on the dual dvd players in the backseats (that was pretty much a given and trust me...we like that feature too!) and the extra space. John and I were sold on the obvious - more seating and more storage. 

I think we are now completely ready to welcome this baby boy into our family!!

Well, not completely. Now we need to decide on a name! Just 14 more days until due date. (Yay!) I sure hope we can figure it out by then! :) We have a few in mind but can't make a decision. All I seem to think about these days (besides being comfortable again) is how much I'm going to enjoy holding another one of my babies in my arms and getting things ready around the homefront for his arrival. Before Aubrey, Jocelyn and Andrew were born, we knew what their names would be long before their birth but for some reason, I think it's going to take meeting this little guy to find the right name for him. Somehow, someway, it'll happen.

Until then, here are some pictures of our new car:

The Long Wait Is Over!

After all 3 kids birthdays have passed, John earned his Bachelor's Degree (and graduation was missed), a few stressed out "single mom" moments, many sleepless nights tending to my sick children, my overnight stay in the hospital due to dehydration from the stomach virus, tears were shed, our marriage was tried but also strengthened, weaning a 2 year old from a pacifier, lots of alone time (whether wanted or not), countless family, friends and neighbors checking in on us and being there for us - and all that entails in 6 months of separation due to military deployment in Iraq and the constant loneliness and worry that is brought to a military spouse because of it...I'm proud to say:

MY HUSBAND IS FINALLY HOME!!!!

And I seriously couldn't be happier! Being without my best friend for so long was very challenging. Especially being pregnant and taking care of our three children.

I couldn't have done it all without the many hands and prayers that helped our family.

And here's to the readjustment period. So far, the kids haven't left their daddy's side for more than a few minutes and he's without question thrown off with the time difference. But our family is complete and together and we really couldn't be happier!

{Here he is arriving out of Customs at the Dulles International Airport Gate. This is when I spotted him and he didn't see me yet. I was so nervous waiting for my other half to get home!!} 

 {Finally together!}

He had no idea we were going to be at the airport to get him and was completely surprised to see us! He made plans to have a friend bring him home since I'm now full term in my pregnancy and he didn't want me to be far away from the hospital but we found a way for us to all go up there and wait for him. Even the kids had no idea their daddy was arriving today! We told them we were there to help pick up our friend's family. They were SO excited!!! It was so worth it and I'm really glad we went anyways.

{So happy to be reunited!}

During his deployment, we kept in touch over Skype so I wasn't too worried if Andrew would recognize his daddy or not. Andrew was looking around at first, concerned only about his bag of chips, when he looked up at him, gave a confused look for one brief moment and then the BIGGEST smile spread across his face and he ran to his arms and refused to be put down! All of the kids are so glad that daddy is back!!

{Here's a close-up of Jocelyn hanging on his leg. I think it's evident that she really missed her daddy and didn't want to let him go! :)} 

Now on to having this baby boy! He's due in just 3 short weeks - although I wouldn't be sad if he chose to come sooner. :)

I'll update again when I can. I have a lot of back blogging to catch up on that I wasn't able to do while taking care of the kids in John's absence. If nothing else, we'll be sure to let you know when our baby boy (still no name) has made his grand appearance!

Maternity Photos: Baby #4

I had asked a friend of mine to take some photos of me at one of my favorite spots {Chatham Manor} while I was still in the comfortable phase of my pregnancy - mostly for John. I thought it would be cool to surprise him with these pictures as he has missed much of this pregnancy due to being away long distance for work. I love how they turned out! Looking back, I wish I would have brought along all of my kids to be in some of the photos. With it still being winter, there weren't many warm days to choose from but I did choose the warmest day of the week which was still in the 30's. At least the sun was out! It was VERY cold and windy and I was trying to get Andrew's 2 year photos taken at the same time but it just wasn't in the cards. Because it was so cold, his poor nose was running and his face was all red and chapped!! I'll have to take him to Penney's or do something else instead. But he sure was a trooper (minus the meltdown at the end because I wouldn't let him stick his hand (or whole body) into the freezing cold pond to touch the fish) despite the hour long photo shoot...just walked around and followed us while eating his snack and holding his stuffed puppy dog. :)

Here are some of my favorites:

January Treat

We met our monthly goal again so it was TREAT night! We usually do this at the very beginning of the month but the kids and I have been sick so we opted to wait until everyone was feeling better. With it being cold out, I was in the mood for some hot chocolate. The kids...not so much. So I got them a Strawberry Frappachino to share and we added some chocolate chip cookies and brownies to go with our drinks. It was good, but next time, we've all agreed to go for some ice cream. This treat was much too rich!

Word of the Year: FOCUS

{picture via yourhomebasedmom}

Last year's word of the year was Choose. I have decided to carry on with chosing a new word as my yearly motto. This year is going to be busy with another Shields on the way in March so I've decided that my word for the year 2011 is FOCUS. To focus on what matters most and on the things that are important to me: my family (a baby is going to require a lot of my time - as well as enjoying my children and spending more time with my husband), my friends, my health, my home, serving others, doing things that I love (reading, photography, crafts, etc.) and my daily scripture study and prayer. I am going to take a step back from things that consume too much of my time. Things (like clutter for example) that aren't designed to bring me back to the things that really matter most to me and that may allow me to lose my focus. I was initially going to break it down into monthly goals, but with said baby on the way and a full plate already on my table, I don't think adding that step is wise. I will however have specific goals to meet throughout the year. With nesting already in motion, I've already begun organizing my home and taking things to Goodwill so I think I'm already off to a good start!

Many others have chosen the word "focus" as their word for the year such as one of my favorite bloggers: Leigh Anne from Your Home Based Mom. I was originally going to go with the word "connect" but felt that with the arrival of a baby coming soon and the need to focus on my family and health this year, that the word "focus" felt more appropriate and kept springing to my mind.

After making this decision, I discovered a powerful quote from Leigh Anne's blog that I wanted to share with you about focus:

“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend … when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.” ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

I'm really looking forward to this year and to what I will be able to accomplish by focusing on what matters most! Happy New Year! :)