Getting There

Confession: I used to not feel comfortable in my own skin. I didn't like how clothes fit me, how I looked in them and being in pictures. And I believe I have felt this way since Aubrey was a few years old - pretty much for the past 10 years!! I was working full time, taking college courses at night, super stressed out trying to make ends meet and eating out pretty much every day and not incorporating much physical activity to the mix. I know life was busy then and I made excuses that I was TOO busy to take care of myself. Life IS busy now too! Even more so with three added children! I have found since starting up regular exercise in January, that I'm watching what I'm eating and making better choices (it helps that we basically don't eat fast food anymore!), drinking more water, craving to get outside any chance I get, getting the kids out so they too can exercise, not snacking after dinner, eating smaller more frequent meals, watching portion control, sleeping better and longer. I'm still not close to being perfect at it though. It has been anything but easy. (Especially after hurting my right ankle and was out of running commission for a good few weeks.) I have to schedule in my workouts or they don't get done. And I find myself more often than not, wanting to exercise!! At first, this was a bit shocking to me. But I love it now! I'm even finding that I want to do things I never did before. Riding bikes, swimming, playing tennis, RUNNING!!! All because I'm more comfortable with how I feel and my increase in energy.

{John + I: Christmas 2005}

Over the last 5 months, I have slowly built more self-confidence and feel better in my own skin. Sure, I'm not all the way where I want to be, but I'm celebrating how far I've gotten up to this point. It hasn't been easy! In the beginning, I was getting up at 5am to workout. With a baby and kids getting sick off and on...I changed my workouts to mid-day while Landon was napping or in the evening after the kids went to bed. Sometimes you've got to switch things around to make it work. Even then, some days are better than others - just like life in general. If I have a day I can't get leave the house and exercise (like if John is out of town or not able to be home), I do a workout DVD or exercises from "Skinny Ms. Fitness" online. And I should also mention that on the days I'm sick (which have been few since the beginning of the year) or I'm feeling off, I listen to my body and lay low for a day or two.

A few months ago, my friend and I even started walking 4 days a week after our husbands got home from work - which added up to 10 miles of walking per week. She's moving soon so I'm now walking alone and sometimes even pushing the boys in the double stroller to get it done! And running on top of that is another 10-15 miles. A total of 20-25 miles a week of walking and running as well as weight training and eating more healthy has gotten me to where I am currently and I'm still going strong! I have more energy to get things done throughout the day and I'm able to do more things with my children. It's beyond exciting!! I love it! :)

{Aubrey + I: Preschool graduation June 2005}

Back in 2005, I had my yearly health physical. The blood tests came back unusually high in the cholesterol department. I had then learned that it runs in the family. Before 2005, it was in the normal range. Now, we're talking the numbers were at 310 total cholesterol. Super high! They encouraged me to get on medication pronto! But I was hesitant. John and I were trying to get pregnant and I had done enough research on statin drugs to know that I didn't want to be on them during the child-bearing years. In other words, I was also being stubborn. And I have resisted taking them ever since. I had another test performed about 6 months after Andrew was born. Still high. And the fill in doctor (not my normal physician) tried scarring me into getting on them. Saying if I didn't take the medication, I'd be leaving my children at a young age without a mother. I felt that was totally wrong of them to try and scare me into it and being quite harsh about it. I also realized that it's easier (and necessary) for people to take these drugs instead of changing their lifestyle. Even changing your lifestyle won't guarantee lowering the numbers so I tried eating better. On again off again exercise. Fish oil capsules (which I still take). Still the numbers didn't get better. Then, last month at my yearly physical, I had my blood drawn to check my cholesterol again. They called me the next day and left a message. I thought for sure that meant they were too high and a push for drugs was coming my way again. I was nervous to find out! I called them back and they said the numbers were a bit high. The total cholesterol count came to 209. They're supposed to be under 200. WOOHOO!!! I got SO excited! I know still a tiny bit high but I've knocked down 100 points since eating better and exercising for the past 5 months! I probably shouldn't mention this, but I was so excited, I celebrated by eating some m&m's. Haha Hey....it HAD peanut butter in it! :) Even with knowing the numbers improved, I know that this is going to be something I'm going to have to work hard at maintaining and controlling for the rest of my life. I know not everyone is made up the same either but I strongly feel that if I can do it, anyone can!

BEFORE: I just had Landon 4 months before moving to Germany weighing in at 121 lbs. So I was still losing baby weight from my pregnancy when we got here. I know I wasn't huge but I felt bigger than I wanted to be. Pre-pregnancy weight since Jocelyn has been somewhere around 115 lbs. But for the first time in a LONG time, I wanted to get physically in shape for me! No one else could motivate me enough to do so. One day, the light switch came on and it's been on since! When we moved here, I was wearing size 8 pants. At the time I started exercising, I was wearing a size 6 and pre-pregnancy clothes were still a bit tight.

AFTER: Five months after moving to Germany, in January 2012...I started to exercise 5 times a week. The first few months were extremely hard and I gave myself monthly goals and rewards to look forward to and to keep me moving. I only allowed myself to do weekly weigh-ins on each Saturday. I honestly focused more on how I felt than the actual numbers on the scale. By March, I was seeing results. By April, others were noticing. I feel so much happier and better about myself! I am now down to 107 lbs! That's a total of almost 15 lbs! I'm now wearing a size 4. I again don't care too much about the number and more so on how I feel. But I will say that I was pretty shocked when I ordered some shorts for the summer in size 4 and they were TOO BIG! I had to exchange them for a size 2. Never thought this was possible. As I mentioned, I haven't been this size and physically fit in a decade! Of course I had a lot of attempts from then until now but nothing consistent. I didn't have any confidence that my body would change. I didn't have any experience seeing that it would! So by blind faith, I kept working hard at it and little by little, the changes happened! I owe much of my success so far to my husband who started supporting me years and years ago and never gave up giving me encouragement and for the here and now; all the countless 30-60 minutes that I needed to get a workout in. I also have the Couch to 5K program to thank and I highly recommend it to anyone looking into starting to run. But I also give credit to my success to all those that have supported me - my parents, siblings, friends and extended family! Thank you!!! :) And for all those that want to make health changes in their own lives, know that I believe in you! Sometimes all you can do is take it one day at a time and giving it your all! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

I'm excited to see where the next 5 months takes me! In just a few days from now, I'll be running my first 10K run ever! Who would have thought?? I certainly never did!