Christmas Eve 2010

 It was really hard getting the kids happy and into the Christmas spirit with them knowing that their Daddy wouldn't be home the next morning to open presents on Christmas. After getting to talk to him over Skype, we made some some cookies for Santa and a big batch of puppy chow to enjoy over a movie. Of course it didn't remove their Daddy from their thoughts but the treats at least brought a smile to their faces!

Poor little guy! I just love how big sis jumped in to comfort him when he was sad!

{This years Christmas ornaments we had made at the mall}

 I made things as simple and pretty as possible with John in Iraq and me very much pregnant with Landon. I didn't go to our storage unit to get our 7 foot tree and I let a few things slide in order to focus on my kids so they had the best Christmas they possibly could with their Daddy away. I was running out of steam hitting my third trimester anyways. I hope they know just how much they are loved!!!

I actually love the little prelit 3 foot tree my Mom bought us while she was here for Thanksgiving. It's different than what we normally decorate but I loved it the same! I think it's just the right size for the two younger ones too. :) I stayed up late this evening wrapping presents and wishing my husband was here to make good memories with us. It's so hard having him away. Instead of the normal 20 minute limit to talk over Skype, he gets 30 tomorrow so I'm beyond excited to talk to him while the kids open their gifts. Wishing all of our friends and family a very merry Christmas!

Saying Goodbye...

For seven months - is not an easy task!!!

Especially with three children and one on the way. Being a military spouse, there is always the chance of taking care of the home-front on your own sometimes. But that doesn't ever make it easier or something that we are expected to do with a smile or something we are really ever all the way prepared for. There are always chances in life for a lot of things to occur. A lot of painful things! But it doesn't make it any easier! Proud of my husband who serves our Country and military? Supportive of what he does? Yes! Proud I have to stay home and do it alone for seven months? No! But it's one of those things that I don't have a choice in really. And I don't feel that I have any room to complain having friends gone through this even more than once. Still doesn't make it easier or less painful! I have three, almost four, reasons to get up each morning, make the most of my (and their) day and take care of a bazillion things and then at the end of the day, know that I did my best and that's all I can do. 

I still vividly remember the phone call a few months back. John telling me that he was going to be deployed soon. That he ASKED, of all things, to be deployed! That was a hard thing for me to swallow. I had recently found out that we were expecting another baby so this wasn't exactly music to my ears. I was worried that he wouldn't be home for the birth and more worried about him not being here like he always has been. This would not only be his first time deploying, but his first time being away while I've been pregnant. He told me that him deploying would actually help his chances to get promoted down the road. That, in fact, him getting passed up in a previous promotion board was due to him not ever being deployed. Kind of a hard thing to do when he's been attached to a nondeploying unit for quite some time. So it came down to him asking (begging?) to get sent out. I didn't like this, but I knew it would help his career and we could make it through somehow someway. I knew this was important to him - to our family - and fully supported his decision!

{Three months pregnant}

September 1st arrived faster than I would have liked. This day hung over us like a dark cloud in a storm. We knew it would be here sooner or later but boy were we sadder than sad when we woke up to realize this was the day! The flight was in the evening so we had most of the day to be together. I was so grateful for that!! We took Aubrey out of school and had lunch at Red Robin - one of our family favorite hangouts. 

And then we made the long dreaded drive up to Dulles Airport. We checked in his bags and sat around outside of the gate...spending every single spare minute we had together. The kids and I had previously written him letters so we used this time to shower him with our love. Lots of tears were shed and hugs exchanged. We really didn't want to say goodbye. It would finalize our reality of something that felt like a nightmare. Without one of us around, we don't feel complete! But I had to stay strong for my children. And boy is that harder than it sounds! First, I have to be strong! For myself...in order to be strong for them. The time finally came for him to get to his gate so we gave a huge group hug and watched as he made his way to the escalator. It was a blurry sight might I add. I had tears welled up in my eyes as I watched my best friend leave. My heart was so full. We both looked at each other until we could no longer see one another and then all four of us stood there and cried. Kids wanted to run after him! A few minutes later, we made our way back to the car. Which, with the usually construction on the highway, took us almost three hours to get home. Wow! What an overly emotional day! I'm sooooo going to miss him! We are going to miss him and very much look forward to his return!

I'm thankful I'm getting through this deployment time while being pregnant as at the end of the day, I'm exhausted and pass out - unable to sit around in silence after the kids go to bed. And I believe that's the only reason I'm thankful I'm pregnant without my hubby home sharing this time with me - as our baby grows inside my belly. Being tired and not able to let my mind wander...wondering if he's safe while in Iraq, etc. It's a good blessing I don't get a lot of alone time to reflect and worry! I just hope he gets home before the baby is born. If not, not the end of the world. But it would be a wonderful thing to have him back in time.

I often get comments like, "Wow! You're SO strong to do this alone! I don't know HOW you do it and stay strong!" Well. It's like this. For one, I know I'm not alone. I am surrounded by many loving and supportive people. Long distance family + friends, nearby friends and close neighbors. I also have the Lord in my life and I know without a doubt that he's there for me and my family - watching over us and protecting us. And last but not least, even though my husband is far far away...he is still 100% there for me! You don't know how strong you are until you HAVE to do something. Something very very hard and something you never expected you had to do until it needed to be done. As painful and hard as it is....if it doesn't kill you, it usually makes you stronger! Boy do I know this one well! I can't sit around and wallow in my sorrows or curl up and cry all day and throw a self pity party. (Not that I would anyways.) I have my children to focus on and take care of and oh how thankful I am for that! And some days, I can't think past the current day. Most of the time I am distracted with all that I have on my plate to get done in a days time. Growing a new life inside me and taking care of both of our needs are hugely important and being healthy for myself and my children is at my utmost priority! I have to create a healthy network of friends and family around me and keep out the negative ones. I'm, in a lot of ways, in survival-mode. Mostly to protect myself and my family so we can make these next seven months without my husband/ their father present. It's not easy by any stretch of the imagination...and every day doesn't really get easier. We just know how to handle our pain a little better. 


My lesson in this isn't how to be independent. I've had that one down for a long time. I'm thankful I can be self-reliant and know how to do pretty much anything on my own. With that said though, I think my lesson is learning and allowing others to help me in my time of need. To give others a chance to serve someone that is having a hard time and needs help. Even if it's just a lunch date with a friend. Or a phone call from someone checking in on us. Or someone offering to watch the kids so I can get through the grocery store with more ease and less stress. I'm learning to accept these offers as I also know that the Lord works through other people in our lives to help answer our prayers. To decline a helpful hand can potentially deny not only them feeling helpful and useful but can make things difficult for me and my family too.

We were finally able to Skype with John today. The kids were beyond happy to see their Daddy on the computer screen! They tried with all their might to tickle him through the camera and give him far away kisses. Such funny kids they are. It was such a sweet moment to see him again as well as being  comforted in knowing he got there safely! Two days down...and many, many more to go. Too many, I'm not keeping track! That would just make me lose my mind! :)

So for now, I'm content in seeing these three sweet faces and smiles every day - and knowing that even though my heart aches to not have John by my side right now, it will be okay and we will make the best of it. Having been gone from them last month for a week, I know on a small scale what it's like to not see them every day and can only imagine how John must feel and how hard it may be. All the things he's going to miss (all 3 kids birthdays, 1st day of school for the girls, soccer games, holidays, etc). So we do all that we can to make him feel loved from afar. Lots of letters, pictures and care packages as well as Skype 20-30 minutes on just about every single day while he's away. I can't express how much that helps! My heart is full of pain and love and anxiety and just about every emotion out there...but I know it will carry us through until we are together again!

I love you, John!
The kids love you!
We all do....so much!
xoxoxoxo

Fredericksburg Annual Luminaria

{Fredericksburg Battlefield Visitor Center}

To honor those that have and are serving our country, our family and our good friends (the N family), drove to the Fredericksburg National Cemetery for a special event they put on called "Annual Luminaria." They gave us a hand out with information about the event that was interesting, so I thought I'd include it here...

2010 Fredericksburg National Cemetery Luminaria

"In 1995, representatives of the local Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts approached National Park Service officials in Fredericksburg with the idea of starting an Annual Luminaria program to honor American soldiers who had died in service to their country. The National Park Service enthusiastically embraced the idea, and the Fredericksburg National Cemetery Lumineria was born.

The task was as imposing as it was admirable: to light one luminary for each of the 15,300 American soldiers who were laid to rest in the National Cemetery. Because many plots contain more than one body, roughly two Luminaria are used for each stone. The graves of Union soldiers dominate Fredericksburg National Cemetery, with a lesser number of plots set aside for soldiers who fought in the Spanish American War, World War I, and World War II. (Confederate soldiers are buried in a separate cemetery in town.) The National Cemetery was closed to new interments in the 1940's.

Hundreds of Scouts participate in the Annual Luminaria program. On Memorial Day weekend, they assemble the luminary bags and place them beside the graves. As darkness settles over the Cemetery, Scouts light the candles, illuminating the hillside. Visitors walk among the graves, pausing now and again to listen as volunteers explain different aspects of the cemetery's history. Every thirty minutes "Taps" sounds on the wind, its mournful tones reminding Americans of the sacrifices that other have made for their freedom."

{While we initially waited for the shuttle, I caught Andrew pulling some funny faces from his daddy! :)}

We got there a little after 8 pm, when the event started, and waited for the free shuttle to transport us from the parking lot by the University over to the cemetery. The wait time was quite awhile we came to find out and realizing it wasn't a far walk...we decided it would be quicker to do so! It was only about 1/2 a mile - so not too bad. But the humidity was a kicker!

{John and his friend walking with their boys on their shoulders. So cute!}

{And now he's pulling on his ears. John is NOT thrilled! And little Andrew looks like he's just holding on having no idea to his daddy's discomfort. I found it pretty funny. (Sorry John!)}

{Walking along Sunken Road - almost to the cemetery. Here is a post the last time we were here.}

{Luminaria along Sunken Road}

{National Park Employees - greeting visitors to the event}

{Across the street, LOTS of motorcyclists parked to come join the evening.}

{My girls}

{Andrew's a bit blurry here, like many of the photos as it was getting dark, but I still thought he looked cute. Blurry and all! :)}

{Picture taken of the flag where TAPS was being played}

{One of our closest friends here: The N Family}

{And then a photo of our family before heading home}

If you've gotten this far, congratulations! :) And if you're interested in seeing some "Coming Home" photos, Pioneer Woman hosted a ton of inspiring and touching pictures you won't want to miss in observance of Memorial Day.

Our family, being a military family, is so thankful to those that serve (or have served) our country.

Thank you!!!!

DAY TWENTY ONE - Make Christmas Cookies

Our family has made it a yearly tradition, usually around Christmas, to make Christmas cookies. We made them using a family favorite sugar cookie recipe and we ended up with a little over 4 dozen! The girls had fun using the cookie cutters to make Christmas shapes and then helped frost and sprinkle!

{As you can see, in the midst of our fun, he was tuckered out! He found his pacifier and blanket and made himself comfy!}

Our Trip To Gettysburg

WARNING: Long post & lots of pictures!

We all piled into the truck at 7:30am and made our way up to Pennsylvania to see Gettysburg for the day. It's been on our list of "things to see" since we moved here and we can now finally cross it off our list! I love when that happens. :) The day turned out great, the weather was better than expected (low 70's, overcast with a little wind), and the kids had a lot of fun.

{Gettysburg Visitor's Center}

We pulled into the parking lot around 10am not really knowing what to expect. Apparently they built a new visitors center, shop and museum in 2008 so it was a rather nice building! With the two girls racing ahead of us through the museum, we don't have much of a chance to stop and read a lot of the history like we were hoping. It was more like: skim-and-read-as-fast-as-you-can-so-you-can-keep-up-with-the-children. Too bad we didn't think to nail their shoes to the floor until AFTER we left! Haha. That seriously wouldn't have stopped them. Something tells me they'd outsmart us!

From what I remember though, they showed a lot of exhibits behind glass of what they wore during the battles depending on which side of the battle they were on and what field of duty they were in. One thing I did learn that I hadn't known before is that the space in between the buttons on their blouses/coats determined their rank. They also displayed furniture with bullet hole wounds that made it through the walls of homes. Other artifacts from their era were shown along with lots and lots of photographs. Since I unfortunately left Gettysburg not retaining as much information as I had planned, I'm providing their website here if you wish to learn more about it.

{The Gettysburg Address. I overheard John rehearsing the first paragraph to Aubrey by heart.}

After touring the museum, we had lunch in the restaurant. I'm so glad we packed our lunches and only bought drinks from there. The 4 drinks came to a whopping $10! (I'm not discouraging others from buying their products. We just try to save any way we can. Especially with the economy nowadays!) So after we downed our drinks and scarfed up our sandwiches, chips, apples and string cheese - we made our way back to the truck for the self-guided auto tour. Of course we had to walk through their shop first and thankfully came out empty handed. It's so hard to keep the girls from touching everything in their sight. The breakable things within their reach scare me!

{Our family outside of the visitor's center/ museum}

{I just love these two!}

{Changing Andrew's diaper before leaving for the tour}

We honestly wanted to go on a guided tour (from what I've heard - highly recommended!) but we just had a hard time spending $60+ doing it. We didn't really budget enough for that so we went on our own this time. The map said it would be a 3 hour 20 mile self-guided auto tour. That just sounded crazy but we drove the 20 miles anyways and it didn't even come CLOSE to 3 hours so I'm glad we went ahead and did it. Again, didn't really learn much since we stayed in the truck most of the time but we did come out of the tour with a TON of photos that we managed to stop (or not!) to get shots of. And that now leads me to you getting to view all of these tons of photos. :) Sorry but I couldn't just pick out a few pictures so go ahead and enjoy them anyways. Hey! Maybe you'll feel like you've taken the tour yourself when you're done. You never know. On your marks, get set, GO!

{Not a historical site that I'm aware of. Just loved the red barn and snapped it's picture!}

{And he's out for the count. Or the tour anyways!}

I'm pausing now for just a moment to share with you a funny story. We were driving along on the tour and passing huge fields. On the right was a large mound of cow manuer. The smell came on strong and there was no mistaking what it was. We had the wind to thank for that unfortunately! Everyone instantly voiced their disgust and wishes to vomit. Then it was Jocelyn's turn to make her thoughts known: "That's gross! Pee you Daddy! You stink!" We all had a good laugh as John was defending himself. What a silly girl she is. We were all glad to be out of that area a few miles down the way.

{Jocelyn right after telling us her funny comment}

{My wonderful husband looking at me like I was crazy taking his picture.}

{And then there's me trying to hold my breath until we got away from the stinch!}

{John loved the style of this home}

{When I saw this out my window I thought, "MOUNTAINS!" I obviously haven't been back to the Northwest in awhile! :)}

{And look who finally joined us!}

And now that the tour part is over, it's time to go get some ICE CREAM! I don't hear any complaints to that!

I'm now thinking that I myself may need to get on their website and learn more than what I did while I was there. It may be safer that way than it was at the museum. When the kids are at home and running around, they can't get too far ahead! :)

On our way home, we stopped off at my cousin and her family's house for dinner and to visit with them. The kids LOVE playing with my cousin's son. I shouldn't have told them the night before because that's all we heard all day long during our trip at Gettysburg: "can we see Aidan yet? are we going to Aidan's yet? when do we get to play with Aidan?" :) Before we left to get back on the road for home, we enjoyed some yummy right-out-of-the-oven brownies. Mmm. Can't pass up brownies! :)

{My cousin Holli with Andrew}

We all felt the same way Andrew does here by the end of our adventurous day:

Yes. Exhausted is definitely it!! But we all had a really good day. :)